Having You
by XxblackwingsxX
Summary: When Mikan Sakura got desperate to earn cash on Christmas day, she didn't expect to find herself losing her virtue and her heart to an elite bachelor named Natsume Hyuuga. RxR?
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE: **_Having You_

**Rated: **_M_

**Author:** _XxblackwingsxX_

**Beta-reader:** My brilliant friend, _Irrevocable Truth (Leona)_

**Summary: **_When Mikan Sakura got desperate to earn cash on Christmas day, she didn't expect to find herself losing her virtue and her heart to an elite bachelor named Natsume Hyuuga. _

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Gakuen Alice._

**Author's note: **_Revised and Edited at 5/12/10._

…

**ONE**

A woman sat at the foot of the king-sized bed, nervous to the point that her body was shaking uncontrollably. She tied the satin robe tightly to her body and wrapped her hands around herself.

"You can do this…" she whispered as a sign of self-assurance**. **She inhaled a good amount of air before slowly releasing it.

Just as she was about to repeat the process, there was a knock on the door and a young man in his early twenties came in, wearing faded jeans and a burgundy sweater that complimented his eyes.

'_God__,__' _she thought**.**_' How great his sexual magnetism is…'_

Those eyes, as she noted, were the rarest she had seen. It was crimson and it contrasted to his pale complexion. His raven locks were tousled and he had that oozing distinction that could be detected from an immeasurable distance. It wasn't her nature to drool but right now she had the urge to do just that**. **

"Hey…"

The moment she heard his voice, she snapped out of her trance and tried to regain her composure.

"Hi," she answered timidly.

"Glad you didn't throw yourself all over me." His lips curved into a smirk.

She was taken aback by his reply and raised a brow at this. "I should've guessed that a man like you has arrogance like the statue of liberty," she replied mockingly, appalled by such an attitude.

He stopped in his tracks and it was his turn to raise a brow. "So I was told," he replied dryly, leaving her alone for a while.

The silence after their brief conversation brought back the feeling of dread and anxiety on her. She gripped the sheet under her hands until her knuckles turned white from doing so. She tried to comfort herself again with reassuring words, but it wasn't effective enough to stop the blood from draining her face.

What was she thinking when she said she'd accept the job? Yes, she was desperate for some cash because of her grandfather's hospital bills but giving her virtue to a stranger wasn't her idea of fast money. At nineteen, in the generation nowadays, it wasn't unlikely to find someone her age… impure, but to her, having grown up in a secluded part of the town without much interaction with the opposite sex, it was an impending disaster.

"_Just make him happy for the night… that guy's in abstinence since his only sister's death months ago and he ought to cheer up. It's Christmas day dammit."_

The words of the raven's friend suddenly popped out. As she stared at him, his back towardsher while he placed his groceries in the kitchen cabinet, she wondered if this man was really having difficulties with the death of his sister. If yes**,** then he mustn't be that much of a jerk as he had implied. If yes, then she wouldn't mind consoling him. And if yes, probably, she wouldn't care _that much _about giving her body to a complete stranger. An attractive stranger**,** that is— not a filthy old rich geezer.

Probably.

Suddenly remembering why she was there, a blush crept to her cheeks as she looked away from his lean figure. She then thought about whether or not he was good in bed, not that she knew the standards. She heard and read about hormonal urges, being horny, having mind-shattering orgasms and the bliss in lovemaking but hadn't experienced any of those mentioned above. She's a nineteen**-**year**-**old virgin for Pete's sake!

"So, who sent you here?" he asked, turning to look at her while crossing his hands across his chest.

He saw the color rise to her face and place a hand to one side of her neck.

'_Maybe to hide her embarrassment,' _he thought, _'But why would she? If she's one of those cheap whores she must be skilled on this.'_

"He said he's your friend. His name is Koko and he wants me to… entertain you. _As if I know how…_" She whispered the last part; as if afraid he'd hear.

He caught it anyway.

He stared at her. He noticed when he entered that she was attractive, but perhaps it was an understatement because she was more beautiful than any of those sluts he had ever met and bedded. Not that he had many to compare her to. Truth be told, this would be just his third time in case. The first two were, well, a pleasure but he was intrigued to find out if she was anything like them.

Her skin was pearly white, she had an abundant mass of reddish-brown locks that reached an inch or two under her busts and an oval-shaped face**,** and had an expressive set of hazel eyes. He had met more gorgeous**,** hot**-**looking women in his field of career as one of the partners in the H & N accounting firm but no one caught his attention and interest like she did. Add it to the fact that she was wearing his favorite robe…

'_Why are you so enticing?'_

"I-I must warn you though… I'm not tha-that experienced in this field." She stuttered, melting under his intensified scrutiny.

Seeing her flushed face, he almost laughed because she was acting like a damn virgin… or was she? "I forgot to ask, what's your name?"

"Mikan." Her voice was soft and velvety. "And may I ask what yours is?"

He was surprised that she didn't know him or she was pretending not to. But the genuine curiosity in her voice couldn't be mistaken. He chuckled. "Natsume. Natsume Hyuuga."

Her eyes widened in pure shock. "You're _the _Natsume Hyuuga?"

"I'm _the _Natsume Hyuuga.."

"I can't believe this! My neighbor said you're young but I didn't expect you to be _this _young. How old are you anyway?" she asked incredulously.

"Twenty-five. And must I say thank you for the compliment?"

"Oh no need for that," she replied huffily and pouted. She felt like an idiot for not knowing, and that pretty much explained the extravagant furniture inside his condo unit. There were several paintings that hung on the walls. A plasma television was located at the upper side of the bedroom and the table she placed her clothes on was thick glass. And remembering her clothes, the color in her cheeks deepened.

'_If I could just kiss her until she's moaning with need and...' _He couldn't quite understand how that train of thought got inside his mind when he planned to question the woman first. She was just… irresistible in all ways.

His eyes darted from her luscious lips to her adequate breasts. Just the mere fact that he'd be able to have it in his hands later on made him grunt in arousal.

"What's wrong?" He saw her stand and walk towards him. Her voice was filled with an innocent concern.

She was tall, he noted, for a woman, since she came past his shoulders and he was 6 ft. 4 inches.

"Did I say or do something?" she asked again and he smelled a faint scent of sakura on her.

She placed a hand on his forehead. Her touch brought electricity sprinting all over his body and he was glad that he wasn't the only one surprised by that.

She hastily pulled her hand back and stared at him with those wide hazel eyes filled with doubt and confusion.

"Do you plan to seduce me this way?" he said huskily and towered over her. He placed his forefinger on her chin and tilted her head up. His other hand was on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"No-no… I-I don't know what-what you're talking about."

She could feel her head becoming light at the intimate contact and her heart, which was doing numerous somersaults, didn't help either. His scent was filling her senses and she was pressed against his hard build.

Before she could even think of resisting, his mouth slanted over hers. She was stiff as a board at first but she couldn't help but melt in his warmth. Her knees were already weak as Natsume deepened the kiss. His tongue coaxed her to respond, roaming in her cavern and she marveled at how unyielding she was. She wrapped her arms around his neck instinctively and ran her fingers through his soft locks before pulling it lightly as their tongues finally met and started to dance. A gurgle-like sound erupted from her throat when he nibbled her lower lip, sending a wave of unexpected heat jolting through her body.

Natsume never imagined that he'd lose control just by holding her close. The scent of her was intoxicating and once he had tasted her, he couldn't quite get enough. His heart beat was going erratic on his chest as he continued to savor her sweet taste. But when he felt the peak of her mounds harden against his chest, he knew the bulge couldn't be hidden now and damn, his pants were going tight. He broke the gap temporarily and watched her gasp for air, her eyes were closed and her swollen lips were parted. God forgive him for wanting her so badly.

It took half a minute before the brunette recovered from the intensity of the kiss. Realizing that her fingers were still tangled around him, she blushed and tried to calm her ecstatic heart. She tentatively pulled herself away from him - though the distance was just within an arm's reach. She stared at him and when hazel and crimson locked, she terribly missed the warmth his body had provided her and the sensation he had awakened in her. She was confused though - why was she reacting like this to the man she had just met?

The innocent look she was wearing caused him to groan yet again. It made him even more excited and if she deliberately planned to use this method on him, she had succeeded. He gathered her close so quickly that only a yelp was heard from her before he crashed his lips on her inflamed ones. Unlike before, his restraint on himself was thinning, resulting in his brusque manner.

The kiss, compared to before, was rougher but she didn't mind a bit. He filled her with so much passion that it almost overwhelmed her so she responded just as much. She was held captive by his left hand, which was grasping some strands of her hair and she felt his free hand brush over her breast. She arched towards him and pressed her body selfishly on him when she felt it being squeezed.

Natsume didn't think twice about picking her up without breaking their contact and gently placed her below him on the large bed. It surprised him that despite the fact that his need for her was starting to cloud his awareness; there was a small part in his mind telling him that he mustn't rush things up. So he followed his gut. He only pulled his sweater over his head and left his pants intact before starting to trail light kisses on her neck up to the hollow base of her throat. He deepened it until it reddened. He heard her moan.

"You're mine." He said hoarsely, his voice was dripping with lust. He tugged the satin tie off and her robe came off. He tossed it aside, his eyes admiring the body before him.

The possessiveness thrilled her and his touches built a heat on the region in between her thighs. She satisfied her hands by kneading the muscles on his back, feeling it ripple under her touch. She gasped when she felt her left nipple being played with by his tongue before he brought it to his mouth and the fingers on his other hand fondled the other. The room felt humid all of a sudden and she couldn't tell what was around her anymore. She only concentrated on the sensations he was giving her.

The raven could feel her restlessness below him. He ran his free hand across her navel up to her damp core and inserted a finger. He heard her moan and continued pleasuring her by inserting another one until she started rocking back and forth. He covered her lips once again and his arousal pushed him to the edge when he felt her becoming hot on his fingers. Overcome by his need, he was on top of her seconds later, and swiftly entered her. In fact it was so swift that he almost didn't notice the barrier he broke. He only noticed it when tears gushed out from her eyes and he almost froze. Yet, knowing that there was no going back, he waited for the pain to subside before continuing.

"Hush love… I'm sorry for the pain but it'll be gone any moment from now…"

His voice was enough to caress her crying soul and she nodded despite the pain that nearly obliterated her. She managed to give him a weak smile before she felt him move inside her in an excruciatingly slow manner. Her nails dug on his bare skin.

She was so sleek, so hot and so tight, he thought, that he could feel himself swell seconds after he penetrated her. Torn between his primitive want and the need to take it slow for her, he pulled himself out, though not completely, before plunging in again. He repeated it twice and was amazed byher eagerness; when he pulled out for the third time, she raised her hips to meet him and take him deeper. He guided her smooth legs around his waist and sped up his pace. Grunting, he claimed her lips yet again.

Lustful cries and moans could be heard as the two raced to reach the sweltering point where their thirst could be quenched**.**

…

The brunette stirred, feeling something hard pressed against her back. She moved her head to the other side only to find a sleeping raven. His left arm served as her pillow and the right was wrapped around her curved waist. A smile played on her lips and despite the hurt in between her thighs, which was normal for a first-timer, she felt wonderful.

'_Hush love…'_

The endearment he used in their lovemaking made her blush.

"You're awake," Natsume said and buried his face on the mass of auburn locks that spilled on the pillowcase. "I love the scent of your hair… it's refreshing," he added and the color deepened on her cheeks.

He licked and nipped her earlobe as he ran his hand on her thighs. Hearing her moan, he chuckled and stopped his ministration on her.

"You're such a virgin…" he said.

"Now I'm not…" She feebly smiled and Natsume dreaded that she regretted it. Seeing the hard lines on his face she said reassuringly, as though reading his mind. "… but it was the best night of my life, thanks to you and your kind heart**.**"

"My kind heart?" he asked, surprised by her flattering remark.

"Yes your kind heart. Probably you didn't know this but I could feel that you were trying to make it easier for me. When you realized that I was in pain, you stopped until the pain ceased." She then shifted to his side and buried her head in the nook of his neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed contentedly. "It made me so happy knowing that you care."

"Thanks…"

"You guessed that I was a virgin?"

"It's more of I noticed… In case you don't know, we, guys in general, also feel pain when we take a virgin." He said matter-of-factly.

"Thanks for the enlightenment." She looked up to him and grinned.

His heart fluttered. God, having her in his arms, he couldn't quite understand the glorious feeling that was filling his chest. Knowing that he was her first, he suddenly felt proud and his chest welled up with pride. But the thought of other guys touching his voluptuous tangerine made him fume.

"Why did you decide to give up your… virtue?" he asked, attempting to change the topic and the course of his thoughts.

"I need money for my grandfather's hospital bills so that St. James' could discharge him. I haven't got any experience in any work since…" she blushed, "… we used to live comfortably and my dad loved to pamper me to the extent that he didn't want me to be taught household chores. So when they died, my grandpa did the same even though we barely have food to eat. It'd be so much better if I could get my inheritance much more early**,** but I need to wait until I turn twenty-one. So… a desperate time called for a desperate measure. I know I look like a coward for doing this but… I don't know what to do anymore. I feel unsure and alone."

Tears formed behind her eyes and he kissed her lids. In return, she planted a kiss on his chin.

"I'll help you, don't worry…"

And she smiled at him with genuine appreciation. "Thank you," she replied, misty-eyed before they both drifted to sleep.

…

When he woke up, Natsume found himself empty-handed. In panic, he called Koko to askif Mikan came to him and was stunned when he said that she didn't come to collect the money.

"Where the hell did you go?" he groaned in frustration and paced back and forth wearing only his robe. That's when he noticed the note that was on his table.

It said:

"_Thank you so much for everything…Merry Christmas."_

He reread the sentence three times before slamming it back.

"Damn**. **I'm going to find you Mikan…"

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**TWO**

"I thought you were over her five years ago?" the sandy-haired Kokoroyome asked a certain raven as they jogged around the city park.

"Shut up and just do what I told you to," he replied, irritated by his nosy companion as well as the strange and malicious stares of the women around the area.

"Man… I don't know what you saw in that girl, sparing your time looking for her... She's just an ordinary whore."

Natsume stopped his tracks all of a sudden and held him by the collar. Gasps could be heard from some unwanted spectators.

"Don't you ever call her by that tag," he hissed, glaring at him.

"But she is one," he replied stubbornly but didn't struggle from him. He knew that Natsume could be this rash if provoked and if he wasn't in the mood. Though, he thought, the reason was more of the former.

"You don't know anything…" the raven exasperatedly said before shoving him aside.

Dusting his pants, he called to him. "Hey! Don't forget Ruka's gig tonight at _Cherries_. We'll wait at the _annex_!"

He sighed, watching the man wave a hand without a backward glance. "I'm too old for that stuff Koko, you know that."

'_Typical Natsume.'_

…

"700 yen all in all. Enjoy your cake!" she beamed.

The young man winked at her and said, "You're really pretty. Can I have your number miss?"

"If you really want it that badly then I suggest you come back next time," she replied politely**,** though if he looked closely, he'd see the twitching on her temples.

"Then I can have your number?"

"Sure," she replied dryly.

The brunette watched her last costumer disappear from the glass door before pulling her apron over her head and sighing, '"Why are there a lot of airheads in this city?"

"Wow, you're pretty sought after by men, Mikan-chan."

She gave out a gasp and placed a hand on her heart. "You gave me a scare… Oh, Anna!"

The woman named Anna Umenomiya chuckled, appearing from the backdoor. She had bubble pink hair, wide eyes and rosy skin. She was wearing a cherry tube top paired with skinny jeans and black pumps. Her jacket was folded on her arm. "Surprise!"

"Mikan-chan!" Another voice called from the entrance.

"Nonoko!"

A girl with blue hair emerged from the doorway wearing a dark navy blue sweater, skinny jeans and sneakers. She grinned at her.

"It's nice seeing you again, Mikan!" she said as they shared a group hug.

"Wow … I missed you," the teary-eyed brunette replied. "We thought you guys were in Canada."

"Actually," Nonoko shifted and smiled at her. "We just came back, two hours ago if you want me to be precise."

"Oh you really can't wait to see me, don't you Nonoko…" the brunette teasingly replied and winked at her."Wait a sec. Just make yourself at home."

She asked them to sit on one of the couches before flipping the sign board to 'closed'.

"We're really sorry for leaving abruptly," Nonoko started, "and for not keeping in touch with you and Hotaru."

"It's okay Nonoko. We understand how your parents feel about me, that I'm nothing but 'a stupid shameless spoiled brat'." She chuckled but the two, reminded of how harsh the treatment to their best friend was, whined.

"You remember the exact words," Anna said, trying to hide her grimace.

"Oh don't worry about it you two. It felt as if it happened a really long time ago. Let's talk about something else, shall we?"

They looked at each other first**,** then smiles lightened up their faces.

"So how's your life going?" Anna inquired.

Crossing her legs and sitting her back against the soft couch, she sighed contentedly. "At first, after grandpa died five years ago, I was losing hope. I was brought up like a princess, remember? A little Miss- I-can-have-all-I-want." Their laughter rang around the spacious room. "But I knew that it wasn'tright to keep depending on someone. I learned that if I don't strive, I won't have a future ahead of me. So I worked. I worked as a waitress, a delivery girl, an errand gal for the two rich elders two blocks from here and a cashier in a bakery. So when I got my inheritance three years ago, I opened a bakery of my own since I do love baking and… eating." She chuckled. "Two years later, I already manage three branches. Thanks to Hotaru."

After her little information sharing, she found the two staring at her with awe.

"Oh stop it. You're looking at me as if I'm a hero or something…"

"But Mikan-chan, we-we just couldn't be-believe that-"

"Have faith in me Nonoko." She feigned disappointment and sighed. "I know how to work for a living you know."

"We NOW know," they replied in unison and Mikan shook her head. The twins really were twins except they weren't identical.

"So how about Hotaru?" the pink-haired asked.

"She's a millionaire now." She saw their huge eyes and continued. "She has her own lab since a lot of sponsors are paying for her inventions. I'm currently living with her in her condo unit since she insisted on it and speaking of which..." she glanced at her wrist watch: 8:10. "… I need to meet up with her at Cherries. You know, that first class bar on the 18th street. Her boyfriend of two months invited us so I really need to close up now. Sorry guys. I guess we just need to talk some other time."

The shoulders of the two fell but they smiled ather gently. "We're really glad to see you Mikan-chan and if you have time, can we hang out on Sunday? Bring Hotaru with you, okay?"

She nodded.

"Sure! And this time, you're the ones who'll tell your stories."

After exchanging numbers and farewells, she was once again alone. Half an hour later she was already walking down the busy streets of Tokyo. The weather was cold but, much to her disappointment, it hadn't snowed yet.

Her encounter with the twins made her heart ache. She realized how she missed talking and having fun with them. But a twinge of guilt started to prod her conscience. What she told them wasn't exactly what had happened. Well, mostly it was**,** but she lied to them because the thing that motivated her to strive hard in life was no other than Natsume Hyuuga.

Why him? It was because after what had happened to them, she read his brief biography. His life taught her that achieving something wasn't done in a blink of an eye.

_**Maybe it's **__**intuition**__**, some things you just don't question, like in your eyes-**_

"_Where the hell are you baka?"_

She smiled at the exasperated voice of her best friend.

"_I'll be home __in __10 minutes. Wait for me will ya?"_

"_Just hurry up."_

"_Can't wait to see your man?"_

"_Idiot. Be home before 9 or I'll leave you."_

"_Okay okay lover girl…"_

She chuckled, closing her phone. Feeling the chilly air of February against her cheeks, she wrapped the jacket tightly around her body. She was about to turn around the corner when she sensed a movement behind her back.

She yelped when she felt someone tugging the hem of her skirt.

"I'm sorry if I scared you onee-san."

She turned around and found a little girl. She was pale and shivering, her brown locks tied in a ponytail, her printed dress was classy and her eyes were the same shade as the man she thought of for years.

"I'm really sorry."

"No-no. I was just surprised and you don't need to apologize." She smiled at her and crouched down to her level. "What's wrong?"

"I'm lost," she replied honestly, playing with her fingers. "I escaped from my bodyguards because I want to play at the park." Tears started to fill her eyes and the brunette's heart was moved. "I really don't mean to be a bad girl but I'm not allowed to go out so-so I just want to play like the others…" she trailed off and cried.

She instinctively gathered her in her arms and ran her hands gently down her backside. "What's your name?" she softly asked.

"Ha-hana Hyuuga."

Her last name struck her and she temporarily stiffened. She let go of the child yet kept her in a safe distance. "Ho-how old are you?" she asked, her eyes locked on her innocent ones.

"I'll be turning 5 on Valentines." The girl's lips tugged upward.

"Oh so that's a week from now," she stated and grinned at her. "Advance happy birthday!"

She saw her blush and she sighed at how adorable she was. If ever she would have a kid someday, she wanted it to be this cute.

Then she remembered she was a Hyuuga.

Despite her effort to contain the question that continued to haunt her, she couldn't help but blurt it out.

"Are you Natsume Hyuuga's daughter?"

"Oh yes! Do you know my papa?"

She gulped and suppressed the threatening tears. "N-no… Not really. We just know each other but we're not… close." She was glad that she managed not to choke on her words. They weren't close but what they did was intimate enough.

Intimate enough to produce another being yet fate must be cruel to her. The product of their union failed to hang on to his life.

She stood up and held the girl's hand, hoping that her knees weren't trembling. "I'm going to get you home so don't worry."

She smiled lightly at her.

Knowing that she was his daughter, she felt somewhat awkward. Yet she knew that that child was innocent and her father certainly didn't tell her about his escapades. And why did she feel something in her heart? Like a prick that was now beginning to hurt her. He was a one-night-only right? She knew that. She must accept that. She was probably just one of his _whores._

The thought made her stomach churn.

"You know where we live?" she asked, surprised.

'_Your mansion was on every magazine last month' _she thought but shrugged the idea ofsaying it out loud. "Yeah… I've heard of it before. So, let's go?"

She beamed at her and God, how she reminded her of him. "Thank you so much! But…"

"But what?"

"My papa's going to be very angry with me… he'd maybe… Can you go with me nee-chan? If you and my papa are friends, he wouldn't be that angry."

She was doubtful and panic surfaced in her but she managed to appear calm.

Before she could change her mind, she said, "I'll go with you."

'_Am I really going to meet him again?' _she thought. _'Are you ready, Mikan?'_

"I like you nee-chan. Thank you." She smiled at her. "Sometimes I wish my mama's alive…"

"I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm sure if she is, she'll be worried for you too."

"I-I don't know," she replied hesitantly. "I never got the chance to see her. She died giving birth to me. Nee-chan, am I bad? Papa said it wasn't my fault but I really think it is mine."

Her heart contracted with pity. "If your papa says it's not your fault, then I agree with him. Your mama must love you so much and right now, she's probably watching you down from heaven. I'm sure she thinks you're the most wonderful thing that happened to her."

The child tightly hugged her and she returned the act. If her pregnancy hadn't failed, her child would be the same age as her.

"Let's go now Hana. Your papa's waiting for you, I'm sure."

"Thank you so so much nee-chan!" she cried. "I wish my mother was like you..."

"Oh I think she'smore wonderful than I am… She's someone much more…"

…

Natsume was sitting on the cream sofa, his back arched; his legs parted; his elbows were stiffly set on them and his face was buried on his shaking palms.

His sister's daughter was missing. Legally, she was his now. She was his responsibility yet he lost sight of her. Damn he must be a fool.

"Hyuuga-san," a voice from the intercom said, "Hana-sama is home."

That announcement made him stand up in a single beat and seconds later, he was found running towards the large steel gate. He was astonished at his discovery. He stopped at the concrete steps.

There she was, the woman he had been thoroughly looking for five long years and who seemed to be slipping away from him each time. But now, she was here. His heart fluttered.

She matured over the years, he noted, as he scrutinized her. Her auburn locks were now shoulder-length, her hazel eyes looked deeper. Though her figure was hidden by her oversized jacket, he knew they must be the same. Her features and height didn't seem to change either.

He stared at her, knowing that she hadn't noticed him yet and a smile played on his lips. But when she did, she stopped her tracks and color fled from her cheeks. He frowned. Didn't she want to see him again?

"Papa!"

Hana called out to her father and skipped happily to his direction. He crouched and received her with open arms.

"Pa… I'm sorry," he heard her say and he nodded. He told her to go inside first before facing the pale brunette.

He readied himself to hear silence and he was right. She just stood there, the moon beams spilling on her stature. She looked ethereal just then and a sudden frightful feeling entered his senses.

"Don't leave again**,** Mikan," he said.

Before she could utter a response, she was enveloped in his strong arms. "Stay..."

Even though she said and planned to turn away as soon as she saw him, she couldn't, not after hearing his desperate voice. He was pretty much the same as she remembered**,** though right now, wearing a long-sleeved polo and slacks, he very much looked like the corporate man whom he really was.

"Natsume…"

Tears stung her eyes and she gave in to his warmth. She looked up and found him staring at her with an expression she knew well. Desire made his crimson eyes turn into a deeper and darker shade.

'_To hell with it.' _She thought before pulling his necktie down and crashed her lips to his, overcome with need. He welcomed her tongue with as much as passion as hers and she could feel his hold on her tightening. She moaned as the raven deepened the kiss and she gasped when she felt his bulge press on her lower abdomen. Heat surged throughout her body.

"I want you, Mikan."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**THREE**

"I want you Mikan."

All rational thoughts fled Natsume as he descended his lips on hers again, not even waiting for her to answer. His tongue licked her lower lip as his left hand found its way to her waist. His free hand rested on her nape, drawing her closer to him. He slid his tongue inside her parted lips and explored her eager mouth. She tasted like dark chocolate with the right sweetness and bitterness, he thought; and was aroused just by her smell. He was intoxicated yet again and savored the feeling.

He never thought that he would find her. For years he spent his time outside work searching for her but she was evasive. In the end, when he was about to give up, she suddenly appeared in front of him. She found him instead. She was more mature, more radiant and fuller in places he first thought she couldn't possibly develop. He was clearly mistaken.

They temporarily broke the kiss, gasping and panting because of desire and he stared at her hazel eyes. They were tinted with want and need that equaled his own, but there was something else - something akin to fear and doubt.

He loosened his hold on her and his left hand landed on her shoulder.

"What's bothering you?"

She removed her gaze from him and heaved a sigh.

'Should I tell him?' she asked herself. She stared into the distance, a painful memory intruding in her now-jumbled thoughts. She could vividly remember what had happened on _that _day. That day, where she lost her child… their child.

She met his questioning eyes and she inhaled. She couldn't deprive him of his supposed-to-be son, right? Even if he was already dead, Shinichi Hyuuga was his. He was theirs.

"I-I…" she started and tore herself away from him. She turned her back and restrained the tears that were forming in her eyes. _'How will I tell him?'_

"I know a lot of questions must be bothering you right now. I… I'm willing to answer them."

She was silently thanking God that her voice didn't give her away because despite the calm demeanor she was showing, a tremendous storm was raging inside her like an uncontrolled inferno.

Natsume stared at her rigid back, thinking how this woman could make him hard just by being close. He clenched his fists on his sides and it was his turn to sigh. His carnal need was impatient but there was no use giving in to his urge when all she wanted now was to talk. He would have his time later. He would make sure of that.

"Why did you leave?"

He saw her back relax into a resigned posture then she turned to face him.

Her face was a replica of stoic indifference but he could somehow feel that that wasn't what she was actually feeling. The first time they met, she was as easy to read as an open book but now, there was something different about her. And that something, was the very one hidden by her mask.

"Why did I leave?" she said. "I left because the money's of no use to me anymore."

When she didn't elaborate, he asked again, advancing a step towards her. "No use? How about your grandfather?"

"He died while we…" she blushed before adding quickly, "while we were doing the deed. I left because I needed to see grandpa. I left because I needed to, Natsume**,** not that I wanted to. But if I did stay and wait for you to wake up before leaving, would it make a difference? "

'_Everything would be different now if you did!'_

Even though he wanted to shout those words at her, he couldn't so he just kept his sentiments to himself and didn't answer.

Minutes of tensed silence passed and he was still the first one to break it by asking, "What happened to you then?"

He was intrigued, Mikan noticed that and told him exactly what she told the twins earlier, well, except the part where their baby was involved. She was surprised that he was listening with obvious interest as she rambled on, pacing back in forth in front of him like an anxious tigress. She was now doubtful that she'd be able to say it because every time she'd glance back at him, his crimson orbs were always intense and it sent rousing chills down her spine. Her mind seemed to malfunction, knowing that his gaze and attention were solely on her.

"… then here I am today," she finished, unable to even remember what she was saying before that. She felt like a robot doing a routine task of reporting the same amount of profits earned by the end of each day.

"So if that's the case then why were you avoiding me?" he asked amiably as if he wasn't enraged by her actions. But she knew, seeing the thin line on his lips and the hardening of his jaw that he was indeed, if not livid, annoyed. His eyes, though seemingly emotionless, showed a hint of an officious demand.

"Why were you following me in the first place?" she retorted, her voice low yet venomous.

They were only inches apart now and Mikan was startled by that realization. But even if he was intimidating, she wouldn't back down. She wasn't a coward. Before, yes she was one, but not after what she had gone through. She stared back at his probing gaze.

Natsume's reaction was the least she expected.

"How dare you laugh at me at a time like this!" she threw her two arms in the air as if overturning a large table and shot a glare at the chuckling Hyuuga. "And this is not even a laughable matter! What's wrong with you? Are you insane? Do you want me to call the asylum?"

The laughter ceased but the smile on his lips was still there. She held her breath. He was getting into her even without trying! God help her. That smile reminded her of their night together and the memories brought back the sensations he had awaken on her. Innocent as she was back then, she didn't fully understand the pleasure of the flesh but now, with the aid of Hotaru and the books she had read, she had come to her senses.

She knew she was aroused just by having him close.

"You were a wee bit funny actually," he replied.

Natsume noticed the change in her expression when he stopped laughing and saw that her eyes dropped to his lips. He was about to comment on that when she suddenly stooped low and twirled around, saying that she needed to go and that she was about to be late for an important appointment.

"Mikan, wait," he took hold of her elbow.

"Wha-what is it?" she replied, stuttering a bit but refusing to look at him.

"Tell me as honestly as possible, why the hell are you avoiding me?"

He felt her flinch at his question and saw how her face fell.

"Thank you for stopping me. I was trying to take the coward's way out again," she replied and softly pulled her elbow away from him.

She faced him. He was crushed seeing her in this state. He didn't know what happened back then but he was sure that she was hiding something - something that she couldn't easily dispense on him. He wondered why she was acting this way. She seemed bothered, guilty, pained, worried and even burdened by a memory she couldn't forget or let go.

Natsume couldn't help but gather her in his arms. He felt her warm hands on her chest, hesitating.

"You changed…" he found himself saying. "You know how to mask your emotions now… but still, I don't how but I can see the truth in your eyes."

"I'm sorry…" He heard her say.

"Don't try to pretend around me. I know you. Yes it sounds crazy but that's true. I know you."

"I'm sorry…" she said again.

He felt her hands clutching his shirt and her cheek pressed on his chest. God, he thought**,** if only he could hold her like this every day. He'd die a happy man…

"I'm sorry…" she said, but this time, it sounded more like a sob.

He rested his chin atop her head. "What're you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry if I avoided you. I'm sorry for not being brave enough. Sorry for letting my guilt consume me. Sorry for the pretention. Sorry for not being strong. Sorry for losing our baby."

His eyes widened and he pulled back a little, wide enough for him to look at her but not wide enough for her to avert her eyes.

"What are you saying?" he asked; disbelief almost tangible in his voice.

"I… I got pregnant but I didn't realize it until my best friend noticed that I was… getting off the scale. She urged me to take the test and it was positive. Then, I told her everything… I did stop my part time jobs because my doctor said that my condition's pretty delicate. But he was premature… He was only eight months and there were a lot of complications. He only lived for two days…"

He heard her cry out.

The pain seared his insides. He now knew what was killing her, what was pushing her to hide herself. The shame… the regrets… the blame…She all had that on her shoulders. He imagined what it was like for her, what life was for a pregnant teenager. But he couldn't. He knew she went through a lot but he couldn't possibly fathom the pain she was feeling.

He was guilty beyond anything else.

"I'm sorry Mikan… It's not your fault so stop blaming yourself…" he whispered. "What did you name him?"

"Shi-Shinichi…" she replied and pulled away a little.

"Shinichi… I like it."

He stared at her disheveled self.

She stared back with red puffy eyes.

He knew the meaning behind her look.

"We both need comforting tonight," he started. "So will you stay?"

"Do you want me to?" she asked back, her voice was cracked.

"You're all I ever wanted, you know that."

"Then please…"

His lips descended on hers and trailed butterfly kisses on her neck. He stopped at the hollow base and nipped the flesh.

"I'm glad I have you again, Mikan."

**END**

I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Okay, okay. Please don't kill me. I know I said this will be a four shot, but then things happen and I know I may never update again. So I fixed the end and I'll stop here. My deepest apologies. I hope you guys will understand.


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